Just had this idea for a Flying V pizza guitar after a conversation with Frank Chimero and had to make it a reality in Photoshop. Since a 3 minute Google search didn’t turn up anything similar in existence, I’m going to claim this concept as my own.
Guitar makers: let’s make the Nick Sherman Pro Model Pizza Slice Flying V a reality, please.
The newly opened Sizzle Pie pizzeria in Portland has what I’m going to say is my all-time favorite list of pizza names. If you’re not in to heavy metal or hardcore punk rock, most of the names will make no sense to you. But for the people who understand the joke behind the meat-stuffed “Girth Crisis” pizza, this menu is comedic gold. Some of my other favorites include the “Napalm Breath” (ref) and the “Rudimentary Penne” (ref).
I can’t believe this is an actual menu and not just a joke on some hardcore message board. The next time I’m in Portland, this will be my first stop, for sure.
It reminds me of a comment thread of Metallica-themed pizza names I had with some friends on Facebook back in August after posting a link to the Pizzallica pizzeria in Detroit:
Add Hoeks Death Metal Pizza to the list, and that makes Sizzle Pie the 3rd heavy metal themed pizzeria I know of. Are there any more?
I thought America was fabulous. Take pizza for example. For years I’d been thinking, I wish someone would invent a new kind of food. In England it was always egg and chips, sausage and chips, pie and chips… anything and chips. After a while it just got boring, y’know? But you couldn’t exactly order a shaved Parmesan and rocket salad in Birmingham in the early 70s. If it didn’t come out of a deep-fat fryer, no one knew what the fuck it was. But then, in New York, I discovered pizza. It blew my mind wide fucking open. I would buy ten or twenty slices a day. And then, when I realized you could buy a great big pizza all for yourself, I started ordering them wherever we went. I couldn’t wait to get back home and tell all my mates: ‘There’s this incredible new thing. It’s American and it’s called pizza. It’s like bread, but it’s better than any bread you’ve tasted in your life.’ I even tried to recreate a New York pizza for Thelma once. I made some dough, then I got all these cans of beans and pilchards and olives and shit and put them on top-it must have been about 15 quid’s worth of gear-but after ten minutes it just came dribbling out of the oven. It was like someone had been sick in there. Thelma just looked at it and went, ‘I don’t think I like pizza, John.’ She never called me Ozzy, my first wife.
Kinda makes you wonder if Sweet Leaf is actually about basil.